Day 394.

I’m still working on taking myself seriously as a designer. I’m not sure I see myself as a valid designer yet.

I’m still in imposter mode. I feel like I haven’t done anything and I don’t deserve my job.

Some days, like today, I get to attend design conferences where my name and brand name are on legit badges alongside some major sponsors. Maybe it is real after all.


Day 452.

Last night was my last web dev class. I’ll really miss it. I’m moving on to the project half in a couple of weeks but I’ll really miss how I felt being surrounded by people learning and the feeling of finally getting JavaScript to work.

Hopefully next session I can learn how to write iOS apps.

Day 534.

Today is the first weekend after my first week as a graphic designer.

I cannot wait to go back to work Monday. I can’t wait to see my coworkers again. I can’t wait to actually start working. I can’t wait to see where this takes me.

Day 584.

Everything looks like code. Eyes are tired. Stomach hurts.

<strong> tired. </strong>

Everything feels hopeless tonight. It’s not good.

Finally got my site to work. So there’s that.

Tired. Tired and hopeless.

Day 588.

Doing something you truly love is important. If you don’t care, you won’t stick with it. It won’t make you get out of bed at 2 am and try again. You will fail at this thing, whatever it is. But the love of it will carry you through.

Coding, snowboarding, design.

They get me up at 2 am and make me come back to them even after I’ve failed.

One more try. One more time.

Day 609.

As an artist I find myself procrastinating about approaching a canvas (whatever that canvas may be). I’ve done a lot of thinking about this lately and realize it’s because I’m afraid I won’t be able to convey what is in my head onto said canvas.

I don’t fear failure in a lot of my life. But in some areas I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough to have that breakthrough artists are always talking about.

The key is to keep pushing, I suppose.